The Halloween Party

Living in a college town, there is usually a party going on over the weekend. I didn't get invited to any of them, but, they went on all the same. One halloween, Rich and I decided to crash a halloween party at a local frat-house. I was working that day, and seeing as how I was an auto mechanic, it seemed like the perfect "halloween costume" Rich just hung a chain on his leather jacket and went as a "biker".

We arrived at the frat-house under cover of darkness, and made a beeline for the keg. After finding a couple of plastic cups, we started the long, ardous task of draining that sucker. Well, it didn't take long for the party organizers to realize that there were some uninvited guests at their party. They came over to us, and asked us if we were having a good time. We replied in the affirmative. One of the frat boys had a plastic pumpkin filled with water. Swimming around in the water were a half-dozen goldfish. He offered me the bowl, saying, "You're so big and bad, let me see you eat a goldfish". Hey, I like sushi just as much as the next guy. Actually, when the fish is still alive, I think they call it shashimi, or something like that. Anyway, I was twenty, had no health insurance and fewer brains, so I reached into the goldfish bowl, grabbed one of the squirmy little suckers and swallowed it whole. This amused the frat boys, they all stood around us in a circle grinning like crazed loons. They turned their attention to Rich, looking at him with an expectant air. Rich's response was classic. He looked at me with an incredulus look and asked:

"Don't you chew your food?"

And then he reached into the bowl, grabbed a goldfish, popped it in his mouth and began to chew. It was beautiful. The frat boys all turned pale and left us alone for a while.

The keg soon dried up, and we were reduced to drinking wine coolers - ugh. But, when you're twenty and can't legally buy your own booze, you take what you can get. Please remember this is going back twenty years, and I can't remember all of the details, but I do remember the end of the evening.

It was around 2:30am. Rich and I had been chatting up a couple of coeds all evening, and I was winding down a dance with one of them. just then, and irate frat boy came storming into the room and started yelling at Rich.

"Stay away from her!"

Well, Rich doesn't suffer idiots very well, and he just laughed. Meanwhile, I had my arm around a girl - not really sure if it was the one that fratboy wanted us to stay away from, and i never understood why he picked on Rich instead of me. I'm 5'8", and back then, I was weighing in at around 130lbs. Rich is about 5' 10" and back then probably weighed 185lbs. Maybe fratboy thought that yelling at the bigger guy would intimidate us more, but he didn't account for Rich's stubborn streak. The more the fratboy yelled and threatened, the more Rich laughed. eventually, fratboy's friends lead him away, and told us that it would be better if we left. Well, Rich's dander was up, and we left, but not exactly quietly. I remember dragging Rich out of the frat house, while he was yelling that he'd take on everyone in the house. One by one, or all at once.

It never got to that, I managed to get Rich into my camaro, but I wasn't above being petty, so I drove the car up onto the lawn and spun a few donuts before leaving.